How To Eat Pussy, a step-by-step guide


Eating pussy might not be the kind of skill you need to survive the coming zombie apocalypse! But it sure is something you need to have a Ph.D. in. That’s if you are interested in heading off the Armageddon that is your partner’s wrath!

So, pussy is just one of those natural wonders that taste so good you feel compelled to ask the chef for his recipe! The smell, feel and touch is one of the most incredible and it is all too easy to get addicted to the taste of good cunt on your mouth.

However, one sad fact of life is that people with great pussy-eating skills are rarer than hen’s teeth buried at the base of a rainbow. An even sadder fact is that most women need oral stimulation of their genitalia before they can orgasm, but not many have what it takes to provide such an essential service.

Yeah, there are so many women these days left unsatisfied because their partner won’t stick their head down there and give the big P an extended and skillful tongue massage. Why, that’s enough to make any self-respecting vulva owner so angry that heads will start rolling on the regular!

You are here because you don’t know how to eat pussy, right? Well, how many of you can even find the clitoris if it was a matter of life and death and the executioner was the alien from Predator?

Anyway, y’all are in luck, because today we are trotting out all the gems worth knowing about eating snatch. By the time you are through with this article, we are almost sure you should be able to tongue a statue to life! So, read and learn fellas!:

Dive Not Into The Clit

it can be nigh impossible to resist the temptation of frantically tearing off the undies of your partner and brashly assaulting her clit with that errant tongue of yours. We can sympathize, especially if the person whose pussy you are so determined to perforate with your tongue is your high school sweetheart, or a supermodel type who for some reason has chosen your face as her newest scratching post. eatherpussy!

Regardless of how pretty the chick is, just don’t do any mach-speed clit diving. You are not a starving refugee for Pete's sake. Instead, take things easy and engage in foreplay. Cuddle, kiss, make out a little, make each other relax and act like civilized beings.

When you can no longer keep your tongue caged up, you can shift gear by gently kissing your partner all over, almost like they hold the key to eternal life. Better don’t neglect their breasts and pay proper homage to these shapely flesh bags or else. From the breasts you can move to the stomach and then to the thighs and the glistening bit of real estate between them.

In summary, just take it easy and engage in some relaxing foreplay. After all, the pussy you are gonna be licking to jellied pudding for the next hour or two is not gonna disappear into a black hole in the next second, is it? So chillax!

Gentle Ye Must Be

rule number one when it comes to eating pussy like a pro is to be gentle. The pussy is not a bit of cow skin that you can worry about between your teeth all you like. It’s instead a super-sensitive and delicate place that you are supposed to pay proper attention and respect to.

So, once you are done with foreplay, start gently and start slowly. You can increase the pace later if you want and if your partner is looking like she needs your tongue pleasuring her at its maximum capacity. But till then, dial it back, chum.

Communicate With A Bang

yeah, take a few seconds off now and then and ask your partner how they are liking the orally wondrous experience. Are there areas of their womanly equipment that they need you to focus on, different licking or sucking styles they need you to try, or do they need fingering while their snatch is getting scrubbed by your tongue?

Ask them questions like these and pay attention to their answers. Also, feel free to talk dirty, but not so much that your partner feels obliged to close the festivities by laying a stinging slap on your cheek.

Better To Die Than To Give Up!

Here’s the most poorly kept secret in the world- lots of women love oral sex. But the problem is that they get a little nervous if you have been down there a while and Mr Orgasm has yet to show his face. They start to feel they are selfish and stuff like that for monopolizing your attention with no orgasm to show for it and tense up like a virgin upon seeing a throbbing BBC that’s in the mood to do some damage.

What you can do is to have a frank talk with your partner before you even spread her legs and as the action is proceeding. Let her know you are okay with staying a week down there licking her privates like no one’s business and that it was what you were born for. Also, tell her to just relax and enjoy herself without feeling any pressure of any kind, as you are only there to make her as happy as a clam in chowder sauce that’s seated on a bed of hot white Basmati rice!

Without any pressure to cum in a second and thereby set a world record, your partner is bound to find the whole experience more enjoyable and is also much more likely to orgasm and mimic a broken fire hydrant when squirting.

Tonguing Toy Story

that tongue of yours can make a lady speak in tongues and cum like she got connected to the big dam just outside town. But skilled and eager as it is, XXX toys exceed it in every respect.

That’s why if your partner is okay with this, you should mix things up a little by using XXX toys. You can use these to stimulate the anus, vagina, or while sucking on the goodies down there that you are most interested in.


The combination of XXX toys and your moist, probing, and wagging tongue might well be just what the doctor ordered to drive your partner over the edge and get her screaming your name in ecstasy like you just saved the entire solar system all by your lonesome! Yeah, let your tongue do the walking, while an XXX toy does the talking here!

Have Pussy-Loving Fun

dining on pussy sure does feel good. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that your partner is having all the fun since she’s just lying there and letting your chow down her snatch. Yeah, you both love it in different ways and experience different stuff and that’s okay.

Have fun while at it and lick that snatch before you with all seriousness since you might not know when next you will come across another as sweet!

Find The Sucking Power Of X

fancy a pussy eating trick that will get your partner wondering why she didn’t put you in her will earlier? Well, here’s one, but it takes some practice and skill to pull off.

The trick in question involves creating a kind of vacuum seal around the clitoris by sucking on it tightly and then licking the clit that has been immobilized in this seal. This is akin to how some pussy-sucking XXX toys work and the world and all the prime pussy in it is yours if you can master this kind of trick!

Stay Alert

picture this- your partner is writhing as if possessed by all the demons in your part of town, while also pushing her pussy into your face as if she wants it down your throat in 3 seconds or less. That kind of thing happens often and in such cases it is possible to lose all control and even forget the name on your birth certificate.

But stay alert please, if not to what’s happening around the world, then to what’s happening to your partner. At this stage, they are liable to be so tongue-tied they can only moan and grunt like kittens denied their tenth dish of milk for the day. So, be sure to focus on their body language and non-verbal cues and this will help you know if you are doing the right thing and when you are not doing the right thing.

And if you have to ask your partners if they are feeling it or enjoying themselves, then they aren’t. Yeah, when a woman is feeling it there’s no way she can hide it and no way you can’t know it. So, stay focused, do good with that tongue and make her scream and alert the world to your name if it’s the last thing you do.

Is pussy on the menu tonight? Well then, put every tip listed in this article to practice and we are sure you and your partner will get exposed to more orgasms than you both know what to do with!


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    2 years ago

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