The good Lord gave you a dick and charged you to do more than piss in the wind with it! That’s right, the artillery piece filling your shorts is more than something you walk on and wave around when threatened. It comes in very useful for taking the ladies to cloud nine and showing off the sights in such an orgasmic place.

Now, do you know how to fuck? Like are you the type to take a girl to bed and get her screaming wildly enough to make your neighbors dial emergency services and report a crime in progress? We guess not.

Don’t worry though, there’s no magic to sex. It’s easy if you know what to do and how to do it. And that’s why we thought should fulfill our civic duty by educating folks here about how to fuck a girl properly to such an extent that she floods your apartment with her juices. Heed our sex tips and the girl you tangle with will eventually be unable to think of you without getting an ache down there that nothing can remove and becoming wetter than the kitchen sink during Thanksgiving!

Got a notebook handy? Well, then be sure to write down the tips below on how to fuck a girl properly. Here they are:

Dominate Her

Yeah, you aren’t supposed to be an insecure shrinking violet when it comes to matters of the bed. You are the top dawg, the ace pussy killer of your time, remember? So act like it, chum, and dominate the hell out of your partner!

We are not saying you should wear a gorilla suit and beat your chest to show your dominance, but that might be a good idea if your partner is into animal roleplay. Anyway, you are supposed to be the one in charge and chicks love nothing better than a man who knows where he’s going and will demolish every obstacle in his path to get there. So, dominate, but be considerate and never do something that might give off creepy or rapey vibes. Just be overly confident that you know what you are doing and have a goal in mind and your partner will most likely put herself in your hands and go along with whatever is on the menu.

In conclusion, act like a man with a heritage worth knowing about, rather than a schoolboy who’s seeing prime pussy for the first time and wants to phone his mother for instructions on how to eat this with a spoon!

Don’t Forget Foreplay

So many men neglect foreplay and don’t even see a need for it. All they are good for is spreading someone’s legs, stroking their growing snake, and pushing this into whatever hole catches their fancy. If you are this kind of man, here’s where we tell you that your behavior is wickedly selfish, outdated, and punishable with a death sentence!

See, perhaps the most important part of all good sex is amazing foreplay. When done right, foreplay can get your girl willing, eager, and so wet you might need to nip into your kitchen and get a mop! Foreplay relaxes you both, but your partner more so. And more importantly it shows that you care about her happiness and that might be what’s needed to put her in the mood for the hardcore banging that you got planned for her.

Foreplay varies according to needs, tastes, and the situation at hand. It can involve kissing, cuddling, and talking enough sweet nothings to make the folks behind Oxford Dictionary all shades of angry and envious. For some, foreplay consists of showering together, mutual massaging and masturbation, plus oral sex.

We really cannot over-emphasize the importance of foreplay. It is in fact about the biggest thing that can make or mar the sexual experience, and its lack can make your partner hate you enough to slash your tires on her way out! So, if you want to bang, be prepared for plenty of foreplay and be sure to do this as enthusiastically and lovingly as you can manage.

Hail The Clit And The Vagina

To fuck a girl properly, you need to know all about the clit, its role, function, location and how it should be played like a piano. Fess up, how many of you here can identify a clit without having to consult an anatomy textbook? 20%? 40%? That’s bad.

Do consult an anatomy textbook if you aren’t too sure what a clit looks like. It is positioned atop the vagina and we are willing to draw you a map if you can’t find it by yourself. The clit and the real estate down there is important for epic sex, so go learn stuff about them and be sure to pay them proper homage during sex.

And do have a talk with your partner and ask her what she likes done to her nether regions. Is she into getting this sucked, nibbled on, tickled with a feather, kissed, or fingered? How about getting zapped with XXX toys? If she doesn’t know what she likes or is too shy to tell you, then you can see that as a learning experience and try out a variety of stuff till you find one that works for her.

If you are the impatient kind and want speedy results, we would suggest getting an XXX toy for epic pussy and clit zapping. Use a toy on your partner’s privates for 4 minutes or less and don’t be too surprised if she transforms into a writing banshee undergoing an exorcism!

Girls Want To Be Drilled Mightily

You have been told that ladies want you to make sweet, tender, and gentle love to them, right? Well, there are ladies like that, but there are also ladies that want you to ride them like a wild mustang you intend bending to your will right this second. And you know what? The latter kind of girls are in the majority.

Yeah, chicks like that love their sex rough and wild and it is your sworn duty to make this happen. So, pull their hair, hold their throat like they are in debt to you for a billion dollars at the least, spank them all over and fuck their pussy with your eager truncheon like you are digging a deep ditch in the depth of winter!

Of course, it would be an excellent idea to discuss with your partner the kind of sex she wants to have. If this does not happen, just go with the flow, keep alert and read her body language. So, if she wants the raging beast in you to show up and give her pussy some tough love, make it happen. Similarly, if she’s acting all ladylike and gently mewling like a kitten, then ride her like a mare you are trotting on a crowded road on your way to the village fair.

Stamina Matters

Your partner is very unlikely to enjoy sex if you cum as soon as you put it in her. She’s also unlikely to enjoy it if you stay hard for hours and get her insides feeling like a grenade went off in there!

So, the key is balance. You should last long enough to fuck her deaf and dumb, but not so long that she ends up near-dead on your bed from exhaustion. If you don’t last long in bed, there are loads of things you can do to improve your stamina. Do your research, find what works for you and go for it. If on the other hand, you last too long, we will suggest taking breaks now and then, so that your partner can have a chance to rest and recover, unless you want to fuck her to death to prove a point.

Vocalize

Know the best thing about fucking a girl properly? Letting the world know it, of course!

So, when you are banging a chick and she’s feeling it to the bone and yelling your name to the world to hear, the right thing to do is to make some noise of your own. We are not saying you should announce her tax returns and social security details at the top of your lungs, but at least loudly vocalize your pleasure and let the world know that you are having fun and have a degree in pussy thrashing!

Vocalizing makes you two less tense and the act more enjoyable. It removes inhibitions, gets you two acting wilder and wilder, and communicates to your partner that you are enjoying the sex as much as she is.

If you are not the moaning and groaning type, you can opt to talk dirty to your partner. Tell her that her ass is yours, and that her pussy is going to bleed gallons of cum today if it’s the last thing you do. Praise her body in the most creative way you can and get her feeling so nice she redoubles her efforts in making herself sweeter and tighter for your throbbing dick to rampage through!

Learn To Put On A Rubber

A big turn-off for the ladies is a guy who doesn’t want to wear a rubber and considers himself cleaner than the Pope’s toilet. Another turn-off is a guy who is unused to condoms and fumbles them all over the place before putting them on upside down.

So, before a fuckathon, watch a few YouTube videos that deal with condom use and learn enough so that you can put on a rubber while blindfolded and with your hands tied behind your back. Next, if you are the type to endlessly complain when told to wear a rubber, here’s where we tell you such behavior isn’t cute and to cease and desist.

If you want to fuck a girl properly, then you need to be an expert on putting on rubbers or you are gonna look all inexperienced and stupid. And if you want to fuck a girl properly but don’t want to wear a rubber, here’s where we tell you that the clap and worse is waiting to say hello and the fact that you and your partner know this can make sex weird.

And that's it!