There’s no way you have never heard of Tinder, not unless you have been
living and breathing under a mountain-sized rock for the last decade.
Tinder is an app that lets you swipe on what feels like millions of photos,
before matching you to a profile whose owner likes the looks of you and
possibly wants you inside her as soon as practicable! You can seamlessly
stuff your Tinder profile with images taken from your Facebook profile
gallery and add a dollop of personal details to this that others might find
cute, interesting, disappointing, or hopeless.
Think of Tinder as a social media site where almost everyone is as horny as
a ram at the market fair that's penned next to some booty-blessed ewes with
an attitude problem. The site makes hookups a little bitty easier than
usual and has crazy usage numbers, but then you are not here to learn about
how many people are on Tinder each month and neither are we prepared to
trot out statistics like that.
While Tinder is mostly a hookup site, it is still a place where you can
find your soulmate, playmate, and stuff like that. But to be frank, almost
everyone goes there to find someone hot they can shag without mercy!
Anyway, Tinder works because it is simple, free, and effective. While the
site is effective for others, it can't have been so effective for you, or
you wouldn't be here reading this article about finding sex dates on Tinder
that you can offload your weekly allotment of cum into! Now, stay alert as
we tell you the secrets to finding sex dates on Tinder.
Tinder Sex Dates Made Easy
We did promise to let y’all in on the secret of finding sex dates on Tinder
and we don’t generally make promises we have no intention of keeping. Now,
Tinder as we all know is a mostly picture-focused site. You go there,
create an account, and add your photos, plus a bio that others are liable
to find interesting.
Photos of other members near you are provided for you to browse through.
You slide these to the left to show your disinterest and to the right to
show you are very much interested. You then get a message if the lass whose
picture you swapped to the right also did the same to your image and you
two can chat each other up and hopefully set up a meet and fuck on the
morrow. And that’s all there is to it.
But why then do so many gents find it hard picking up chicks on the site?
Well, the reasons are many and could fill up a volume. We don’t have time
for that, so let’s just content ourselves with showing you what to do to
pick up horny ladies on Tinder who want an opportunity to put your boner
through its paces!:
Pray For Luck
Are you a prayerful person? Then we suggest praying for lots of luck in
your daily life and your Tinder chick-drilling adventure.
See, Tinder is a really big site, and often the chances of a chick swiping
right on your picture and agreeing to have her genitalia pounded to
smithereens by your anaconda is dependent on luck. You can have all the
money, height, handsomeness, and private jets in the world, but without
luck that might not be enough to pick up the chick of your dreams on
Tinder. So pray for showers of luck from a benevolent angel who has a crush
Have The Right Profile Information
Getting your pick of hot chicks on Tinder is often as simple as having the
right profile info. Like your profile should state what you are on Tinder
for and no lying if you can help it.
For example, if you are on Tinder to make friends, find dates, search for
your soulmate, or discover a fellow sex freak like yourself for regular
bedmatics, then you should just say so. It’s kind of childish to want one
thing and list another thing on your Tinder profile and stuff like that can
piss off potential mates. Just be bold about what you want on the platform,
plus be bold enough to mention this on your profile and there’s a better
chance of getting it.
Have A First-Class Profile
Your Tinder profile is your public face and it can make or mar chances of
you snagging poontang faster than a bowl of ice cream will melt in a bread
oven! The account needs to be interesting enough to stand out from the pack
and it should contain the kind of hi-res photos that don’t make you look
like a special kind of idiot. We are not saying you should shoot your
Tinder photos in a studio, but for Pete’s sake pose well, wear something
nice but not very flashy, and look competent enough to know what to do with
any pussy and pair of tits that might fall into your lap!
Don’t look too professional or serious or chicks might think you are either
stuck up or sitting on a cactus and add a few pictures of you and your pet
out in nature if you got that. Pictures of you doing stuff you enjoy might
be nice too, but don’t overdo it.
And by the way, a first-class profile is not all about photos. Make your
profile one-of-a-kind by saying something incredibly witty, insightful,
playful, or funny in your bio and you can bet a shebang of prime poontang
that lots of chicks will want a personal and genital-filled meet and greet
with a very interesting guy like yourself.
Know What You Are Dealing With
There are more men than women on Tinder and that’s not a good statistic to
keep in mind if you are into chicks. One thing that’s always worth knowing
and ruminating on is that chicks like sex as much as you do, but often fear
making that known as they risk being tagged as overly forward. What this
means is that when you get matched to a girl, there’s an excellent chance
that she wants it as much as you do, but will be coy about it. So, you
might need to do some heavy flirting and persuading before she will consent
to give up that cookie. Know this and prepare for it.
Don’t worry, once she’s nude on your bed you can do stuff to her that she’s
not likely to forget for the rest of her life and push her into putting
your number on her speed dial list!
Be Real, Be Friendly, Be Confident And Have The Gift Of The Gab
Did a chick you can see yourself madly banging just right swipe you? Oh,
wonders! So what to do? Go for thanksgiving or pass the phone to your
parents for them to talk to your potential Tinder sex mate about safe sex
practices? Neither, or we will pool our funds and cart you off to an insane
See, once you have been matched with a chick, you need to be the one to
initiate conversation but don’t rush or it will make you look desperate. Be
limitlessly witty, funny and flirty, because that’s the sort of thing that
gets the ladies madly entertained and dripping wet down there. Stick to
safe topics and leave stuff like religion, politics, and money alone if you
You can try to talk about shared interests, the latest movie releases, and
stuff like that. Have some class too and don’t be so crude/direct as to
open a conversation with something like “hey, wanna fuck?” Sure, a few
chicks might dig your crudeness/directness, but most won’t. The majority
want to be wooed and courted and that’s what you will dedicate yourself to
doing. And whatever you do be polite and confident, as nothing turns off a
girl more than a guy who’s insecure about himself.
It does help if you have the gift of the gab, but even if you are lacking
there, just be real, courteous and friendly and you are probably going to
do okay and match with a girl who wants nothing more than to sit on your
face and crack some walnuts!
And that’s it, folks. Have fun on your next Tinder fuckathon!
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