There’s no way you have never heard of Tinder, not unless you have been living and breathing under a mountain-sized rock for the last decade. Tinder is an app that lets you swipe on what feels like millions of photos, before matching you to a profile whose owner likes the looks of you and possibly wants you inside her as soon as practicable! You can seamlessly stuff your Tinder profile with images taken from your Facebook profile gallery and add a dollop of personal details to this that others might find cute, interesting, disappointing, or hopeless.

Think of Tinder as a social media site where almost everyone is as horny as a ram at the market fair that's penned next to some booty-blessed ewes with an attitude problem. The site makes hookups a little bitty easier than usual and has crazy usage numbers, but then you are not here to learn about how many people are on Tinder each month and neither are we prepared to trot out statistics like that.

While Tinder is mostly a hookup site, it is still a place where you can find your soulmate, playmate, and stuff like that. But to be frank, almost everyone goes there to find someone hot they can shag without mercy!

Anyway, Tinder works because it is simple, free, and effective. While the site is effective for others, it can't have been so effective for you, or you wouldn't be here reading this article about finding sex dates on Tinder that you can offload your weekly allotment of cum into! Now, stay alert as we tell you the secrets to finding sex dates on Tinder.

Tinder Sex Dates Made Easy

We did promise to let y’all in on the secret of finding sex dates on Tinder and we don’t generally make promises we have no intention of keeping. Now, Tinder as we all know is a mostly picture-focused site. You go there, create an account, and add your photos, plus a bio that others are liable to find interesting.

Photos of other members near you are provided for you to browse through. You slide these to the left to show your disinterest and to the right to show you are very much interested. You then get a message if the lass whose picture you swapped to the right also did the same to your image and you two can chat each other up and hopefully set up a meet and fuck on the morrow. And that’s all there is to it.

But why then do so many gents find it hard picking up chicks on the site? Well, the reasons are many and could fill up a volume. We don’t have time for that, so let’s just content ourselves with showing you what to do to pick up horny ladies on Tinder who want an opportunity to put your boner through its paces!:

Pray For Luck

Are you a prayerful person? Then we suggest praying for lots of luck in your daily life and your Tinder chick-drilling adventure.

See, Tinder is a really big site, and often the chances of a chick swiping right on your picture and agreeing to have her genitalia pounded to smithereens by your anaconda is dependent on luck. You can have all the money, height, handsomeness, and private jets in the world, but without luck that might not be enough to pick up the chick of your dreams on Tinder. So pray for showers of luck from a benevolent angel who has a crush on you!

Have The Right Profile Information

Getting your pick of hot chicks on Tinder is often as simple as having the right profile info. Like your profile should state what you are on Tinder for and no lying if you can help it.

For example, if you are on Tinder to make friends, find dates, search for your soulmate, or discover a fellow sex freak like yourself for regular bedmatics, then you should just say so. It’s kind of childish to want one thing and list another thing on your Tinder profile and stuff like that can piss off potential mates. Just be bold about what you want on the platform, plus be bold enough to mention this on your profile and there’s a better chance of getting it.

Have A First-Class Profile

Your Tinder profile is your public face and it can make or mar chances of you snagging poontang faster than a bowl of ice cream will melt in a bread oven! The account needs to be interesting enough to stand out from the pack and it should contain the kind of hi-res photos that don’t make you look like a special kind of idiot. We are not saying you should shoot your Tinder photos in a studio, but for Pete’s sake pose well, wear something nice but not very flashy, and look competent enough to know what to do with any pussy and pair of tits that might fall into your lap!

Don’t look too professional or serious or chicks might think you are either stuck up or sitting on a cactus and add a few pictures of you and your pet out in nature if you got that. Pictures of you doing stuff you enjoy might be nice too, but don’t overdo it.

And by the way, a first-class profile is not all about photos. Make your profile one-of-a-kind by saying something incredibly witty, insightful, playful, or funny in your bio and you can bet a shebang of prime poontang that lots of chicks will want a personal and genital-filled meet and greet with a very interesting guy like yourself.

Know What You Are Dealing With

There are more men than women on Tinder and that’s not a good statistic to keep in mind if you are into chicks. One thing that’s always worth knowing and ruminating on is that chicks like sex as much as you do, but often fear making that known as they risk being tagged as overly forward. What this means is that when you get matched to a girl, there’s an excellent chance that she wants it as much as you do, but will be coy about it. So, you might need to do some heavy flirting and persuading before she will consent to give up that cookie. Know this and prepare for it.

Don’t worry, once she’s nude on your bed you can do stuff to her that she’s not likely to forget for the rest of her life and push her into putting your number on her speed dial list!

Be Real, Be Friendly, Be Confident And Have The Gift Of The Gab

Did a chick you can see yourself madly banging just right swipe you? Oh, wonders! So what to do? Go for thanksgiving or pass the phone to your parents for them to talk to your potential Tinder sex mate about safe sex practices? Neither, or we will pool our funds and cart you off to an insane asylum!

See, once you have been matched with a chick, you need to be the one to initiate conversation but don’t rush or it will make you look desperate. Be limitlessly witty, funny and flirty, because that’s the sort of thing that gets the ladies madly entertained and dripping wet down there. Stick to safe topics and leave stuff like religion, politics, and money alone if you can.

You can try to talk about shared interests, the latest movie releases, and stuff like that. Have some class too and don’t be so crude/direct as to open a conversation with something like “hey, wanna fuck?” Sure, a few chicks might dig your crudeness/directness, but most won’t. The majority want to be wooed and courted and that’s what you will dedicate yourself to doing. And whatever you do be polite and confident, as nothing turns off a girl more than a guy who’s insecure about himself.

It does help if you have the gift of the gab, but even if you are lacking there, just be real, courteous and friendly and you are probably going to do okay and match with a girl who wants nothing more than to sit on your face and crack some walnuts!

And that’s it, folks. Have fun on your next Tinder fuckathon!