In a perfect world, all you would have to do to make a woman horny would be to flip a light switch or press a button. Unfortunately, a perfect world does not exist, or all of us at the office would be richer than Croesus and have third legs we should be able to set pole-vaulting records at the Olympic games with!

Anyway, making women horny is easy. Don’t mind your bros and homies who keep telling you that the process is as complicated as launching a ballistic missile at a genital boil. And yes, making your woman horny does make a lot of sense because only then can she want it as much as you do, and not have to worry that your oversized boner might enter her body and shuffle her kidneys out of place!

Now, here’s how to make a woman horny:

Convince Her She’s The Sexiest Lady Breathing

Want a woman so horny she can’t keep her legs closed if she tried? Then, your first task is to convince her that she’s the prettiest, sexiest, sweetest, and booty-blessed chick the planet has ever known. To do this, you have to flatter with all your might, praise her for everything and simply make her feel that she’s one of a kind and worth being put on a pedestal and venerated by the majority of mankind. Just don’t overdo this please, because we are not in the frame of mind to join you in worshiping your girl as a goddess come to life.

Make your flattery genuine, sincere, and heartfelt. Constantly complement her about her looks, body shape, choice of clothing and fashion accessories, outlook on life, and stuff like that. If she’s taking extra care of her appearance let her know you notice and do the same if she’s been working out lately. Even if she’s adding weight be sure to spin that into a positive and let her know you care and notice stuff about her that other people cannot be bothered with.

Nothing turns on a chick more than a guy who’s very interested in all aspects of her existence and can’t keep her name out of his mouth.

Be Thoughtful, Kind, and Appreciative

The way into a woman’s undies is often paved with thoughtfulness and kindness. Be thoughtful, kind, and generous and you will soon find that a girl likes you lots more than you imagined and has the hots for you. By thoughtfulness and kindness, we are saying you just gotta be a gentleman and a good person at heart. Open doors for her, take her shopping often if you can afford it, buy her spontaneous gifts, clown around if you can and do stuff that puts lasting smiles on her face. Make her feel special, valued, and priceless. That should be easy to do, right?

Take your woman for meals and picnics and just focus on enjoying life with her. Also, appreciate whatever she does for you and the opportunity of spending time with her and having her in your life. Women notice when you are kind, generous, and thoughtful and stuff like that gets their panties slipping down their legs a little bit.

Work On Yourself

Women generally don’t like rude, entitled, and spoiled pricks, but they do love oversized anacondas that rapid-fire cum into their orifices. So if you are serious about making a woman horny, you need to work on yourself, on your most obvious faults and foibles.

Do you have body odor or bad breath? Then what makes you think a woman will be turned on by that? Would she want to kiss you or even be a mile near you? Think she can even imagine you going down on her without breaking out in hives and vomiting down her throat? Fix the problem by making the dentist your best friend and bathing in buckets of perfume daily if that’s what it takes.

Is your dress sense so atrocious that you could be mistaken for a fraternal cousin of the local homeless alcoholic? Work on that fast and start dressing smart. Are you a very sloppy eater and given to attacking your food like you are roleplaying at Mortal Kombat? Recognize the problem and fix that pronto. Is the woman you want to have the hots for you into muscled hunks? Then register at the nearest gym and starting working out as hard as your body system can handle.

We are not saying you should transform yourself into a male model good enough to earn pride of place at the House of Dior, but at least look good, smell nice and be neat. You need to be the kind of girl your woman or any woman will want to be seen with and fuck with, so make that happen.

Be Touchy

Want your girl horny? Well, you can communicate that need through touch. We are not saying you should wrap her in your arms and never let go, or even allow her to breathe, but do show that you want her by touching her as frequently as is possible without looking like a creep or pervert.

Hold her hands in public and private, guide her into and out of cars and elevators with a hand on her back, and slap her ass anytime you think you can get away with it. All these are you passing signals that she can’t help but pick up.

Build Sexual Tension

Sexual tension for those of you not in the know is when you and your partner are mentally circling each other like wild animals, snarling and dying to rip off each other’s clothes. Sexual tension quickly vanishes as a relationship grows older and is absent in almost every marriage we know about. Anyway, you really should build sexual tension between you and the lady you want to drill to the bone, because few things are more liable to make her horny and in the mood for epic banging that will see her pussy closed for repairs for the rest of the year!

To build sexual tension, you can commit to teasing, naughtily playing and flirting with your woman. Randomly send her crazy texts at work or in church, regularly say stuff in public places about hanging her legs around your neck and showing her pussy the biggest boner it has seen in its life, tell her you have been watching stuff like Fifty Shades of Grey and do things that will get her wondering how you might be in the sack this time.

When creating sexual tension, be wild, creative and dirty-minded enough to send shivers down her spine, and don’t be too surprised to find out that she’s so horny she can’t help but dribble juice as she walks!

Find Out What Turns Her On

Some chicks are turned on by good food, while others are turned on by witty men that get them laughing nonstop. So, what you gotta do is to find out what turns your woman on.

Is it shopping, pineapple pizza washed down with camel milk, sensual massages, kisses and tickles at the beach, romantic dinners atop the Burj Khalifa or other spectacular places, prime weed, guys with dreadlocks or tattoos, or a man that can cook? Find out what you need to know and then do it to put her in the proper frame of mind for some marvelous bedmatics.

And that’s all for today, folks!